ok another go

ok so this was a view from the back , not bad , quite hate my pudgy shoulders but quite like my hair.
Ok this was the worse picture of the day, they we all are, off to have a lovely day out at Wistowheading around the maze at a steady pace with lovely weather, then we stopped for a breather and we took this pic, lovely family , with spare tyre mum sitting in the middle.

Ok so something has to give doesn't it, I can't hide anymore. But what to do? If I try dieting I think about food more and want to eat even more, because i can't then I want to.
going to try step by step - ok for the next week starting right now, I'm going to replace coffee and tea with lovely cold water - much less calories and maybe a start - the stop eating choc thing didn't get anywhere at all, in fact i'm eating more.
I can't believe how awful I look - it took a new camera, eugh how many inches? or rather tyres?

a bit slippy slidey, but trying hard

Well, I've been trying to stick to it as much as poss, but life's been a bit hard of late. However the boot camp + fruit and veg is slowly paying off, and there are some great sport activities running ove the summer so I'll see how the kids get on with those.
I've also promised myself a bike and another load of those hellishly expensive supplements. I'm sure you're not supposed to do one month religiously then make the next bottle last, well, as long as it lasts cos I kept forgetting to take them, then buy the next bottle a couple of monthes later, but hey, I'm doing what I can.
Picture me a la Miss Hubbard tinkling along the lanes round here, running down bunnies and reminding people about choir practice. Oh and frightening the bejeebers out of any unsuspecting walkers as I come up behind them and ring my bell at the last minute:-)

cravings for good stuff taking over from cravings for crap (as what's his name said it would).

Dawniy posted a youtube here of some American guy with a wacky name talking about the perils of sugar and such stuff ... very useful viewing. He said that when you stop eating crap your body begins to crave the things it really needs ... so here is what I discovered I crave when I don't eat crap:

mushrooms
broccoli
mackerel and oily fish
greens, greens, greens
salads
and more mushrooms!

Blog Rave about Wii Fit!

I've been having a great diet boost with Wii Fit. Somewhat more expensive even than Slimming world ... but is lots more fun! Also we can all use it and get fit and SW doesn't really promise get fit. I fought against it for ages. Jon tried to sell it to me as something to get me fit ... and I was very skeptical. It's FAB. I surprise myself that I haven't made a blog rave about it yet ... but maybe that is too much like consumerism and I'm horribly shy of that (hence the months of fighting against getting it in the first place!) I have really found that it has curtailed my evening snacking and when I feel need for 'compensation' from something sugary and junky, I seem to be gravitating to the Wii instead ... like 'play' is a well deserved reward for all my hard work during the day. (It is seriously rigorous exercise disguised as play and it's got me so fooled that I'm often in danger of overdoing it!) I must think to post about it on Loozing It at least! My DH will say "I told you so!"

(so, Liz ... I just pasted my comment to you in here! There, I posted it!)

obesity

I watched a prog last night about obesity. . . . . . it explained how a few extra calories here and there everyday add up to having a real obesity problem as we get older, well that's how I understood it anyway. While I was pregnant I'd actually gone off making bad food choices because choc and things fatty/creamy were making me feel sick. And now here I am , lost the baby , not pregnant, and very low. What do I do when I'm low ? Eat. I wonder why we do that because after I've eaten I feel even worse, but at the time all I can think about is the craving for choc . . . . . . for me it's harder than stopping smoking, I've successfully done the stop smoking thing. So how did I stop smoking? well as soon as I craved one I just held firm said no and crocheted to keep my hands busy and there weren't any fags in the house to smoke so . . . . . but it isn't the same with food is it? However I try to cut down there's always food in the house, I can't refuse to buy food, I can't be wilfull and refuse to eat. Now then maybe one thing I can do is use the refuse and stubborn thing on chocolate? it sounds do-able, no to chocolate instead of no to fags , maybe I can have success with doing this bit of not eating bad.

Ok so here we are, 7th of july , no more chocolate - sadly I'm feeling deprived already, I feel sad, miserable, been wanting choc ever since i miscarried and i guess I've had some everyday, I can't shop or get petrol without getting some. If Stef goes to the shop he asks "Do you want anything?" maybe I need to change my reply to yes a banana . . . . . at least that way i'd get the nibble without the fat?? Life without the choc hit?? I may aswell give it a try I'm depressed anyway lol woe is me . . . . . .

I have tried the only eat if it's good for me sort of thing but failed terribly . . . . .. . . .. .. . . ..ok try this then.

drat that skirt

Really, REALLY bad day today. I was going out to a picnic with the kids at a friend's house and decided to try something on that I had worn on a sunny day two years ago. I was shocked at how tight it was and suddenly my internal picture of myself just crumbled and I felt totally cr*p. As is usual in these situations everything spiralled until I was the worst person in the world and have been blighting my own and my children's lives. My 9 yr old ds and 6 yr old dd have both been getting a bit chunky, well a lot chunky in my dd's case, since we moved up here 2 years ago so naturally it's ALL MY FAULT. Of course. We used to live in a town and we'd always be out and about walking the dog, popping into town, cycling or scootering down the cycle path etc etc but that just hasn't been possible where we live now. Have I mentioned this before? I'm sure I have. Getting enough exercise here seems a lot harder. Any nice walks are a drive away, which makes them harder to fit into an already crammed full day. The sports centre is half an hour's drive away. The road into the village is pretty dangerous, and besides that walk gets pretty boring if it's all you've got. The dog has aged a lot in two years. he's twelve and a half and really feeling it, so no more yomping. But I must stop looking back at how easy it was then and try and find a way to make exercising a priority. I think cycling might be the way to go. It feels like it'd be so much easier to get myself fit, but I'm responsible for all the kids getting fit too. Tall order.

Well, anyway. I calmed down a bit and told myself that the skirt may have been tight, but I did actually get it on (then took it off in disgust and wore my jeans instead). And I have already lost some weight, I just need to lose a bit more.

I have the feeling that this place is about to become a mini boot camp. No sweets, lots more healthy eating etc etc. Any suggestions on how to persuade the kids to become more responsible about what they put into their bodies and how much they exercise would be gratefully received.

The good news and the bad news

Well, it's been ages since I posted last and I've achieved one of my goals. My marker for success was going to be whether I got into a certain pair of trousers. I managed that about a month ago. I was terribly nervous about trying them and then getting all depressed if they didn't fit, but they did.
The bad news is that I'm supposed to keep up the eating plan for 80% of the time. Yeah, right! I'm pretty bad at keeping to it, but I think the basics are there like not eating carbohydrate without protein, and I'm pretty sure I get my five a day most days, but I'm cheating so often. I've told myself it's ok to eat chocolate again. Well, it may be true that I don't come out in a rash straight away, but it still happens a day or so after. And certain days the sugar cravings are debilitating. One thing I have noticed is that if I eat anything with sugar in it in the evenings I get the odd numbness in my hand that used to worry me so much. Ok so now I know what to do, or rather what not to do, about it, but it is baffling.
I'm also pretty sure that my mood swings are partly down to not eating well enough, as well as environmental factors such as my relationship with a certain member of my family.
Well I know what to do, I just need to do it:-)