handling stuff too

Reading your post helps me feel that after all not all is lost. I keep falling off the wagon too, I don't think that i eat a lot, but as soon as \i try to eat less i end up wanting to eat more. I am sure there is a direct connection or link, trying to eat less equals wanting to eat more. Every time i try to eat less my poor body immediately tells me things like "You are so hungry Dawn, and you so need to dip 4 biscuits in your coffee. The craving is dire and urgent and physically demanding, I feel as if i will never be able to eat properly again and as a result I make sure I CAN eat.
It's true how ever hard I try that I find it really hard to say no to food and the more I say no the more I feel impelled to say 'yes' it feels physical and almost impossible to not say yes.
Then I have all these guilt hang ups about how I look and feel, and how annoyed my doc will be.
Because lack of food equals increased desire, I need to make it more 'do-able' so now I am concentrating on specific task, well 2 actually. The main things i eat that are fattening are chocolate and bread, also if I eat a lot of bread (ie couple of slices) I feel bloated and get heart burn, so I am going to cut both of these out completely. As I've said before I stopped smoking , I could say no fags, and I could refuse to have them at all. With food I can't say no food at all, so the boundaries and the desires get all muddled, and the "I'll just eat a bit" mentality sneaks in until i can't ignore it.
So now I can say NO and I have s strict criteria for the 'no', no chocolate, no bread. It sounds do able, it might make a difference, keep you posted.

Handling stress

Oops. I've been forgetting to post in purple. Been thinking about stress and how to handle it and still carry on being careful about what I eat. Whenever there's any kind of conflict, even if it's just black clouds on the horizon, or someone else not handling their emotions terribly well ( I'll leave you to guess the gender) I immediately feel that tight little knot and find myself fantasising about food. Or even succumbing.
So I am going to have to find different ways of dealing with stress, and as I can't just drop everything and sink into a hot bath it'll have to be something else. Probably something active involving the kids. And I'll have to take a leaf out of my own pet peeves book ( the one that gets annoyed when I suggest something and the person I've sugested it to comes up with reasons why it just can't be done - when I know it darned well can and needs to be!) and stop that annoying little voice in my head telling me negative things and why this won't be possible or that won't be practical, and by the way shouldn't you be doing x. y or z, I mean you *are* supposed to be educating those kid, you know! After all, who makes my schedule for me? Who is it who decides what I should be doing and how and when? Don't answer that!