yo-yo dieting

lol I'm not sure I'm managing any dieting let alone yo-yo dieting but this looked interesting anyway

http://style.uk.msn.com/wellbeing/healthyeating/article.aspx?cp-documentid=10498117&ocid=today

Wii Fit fooled me into it!

I've gone from 13st 10lb to 12st 12lb!!! Still working on it, but it has been a bit slow during this month. Have to get off the sugar again. Too many weekends away and family parties with too many gorgeous puddings. My weakness! Also, too many sicky bugs in our house, and I have to keep working myself back to healthiness before I can get back to my exercise. May try to get a cross trainer. Used one at my FIL's and loved it! I'm feeling that I need more challenging exercise now. Maybe getting hooked on the endorphines! I find running a problem because the air gives me asthma even if it is just a little bit cool when I'm running. Shame, as my DH runs in the peaks and it is beautiful up there. Staring at a wall and listening to crap radio wasn't quite the same!

The danger of letting it slip too far

A cautionary tale for me for the future. Although this eating plan of mine is really good in lots of ways, easy it ain't! It takes a lot of thought and planning, two things I didn't want to have to do when I took the kids on a short break recently. So I took a risk and more or less abandoned it for the time I was away. What harm could it do? Well, I think I've been reaping the whirlwind ever since. First it was a major downer the day after I got back, it just settled on me from a height and sat there immovable till it went away again. Then we decided to actually organise that splash party we'd been planning for weeks, but at the height of the preparations I came down with a horrible sore throat that turned to a painful earache overnight, so it had to be postponed. I can honestly say it's the first time I've been as ill as that since I started this eating plan. Properly ill that is, sitting on the couch in my nightie and dressing gown, groaning.
On the plus side I've got my bike! Yay! I'm a bit nervous about getting started with it as I've not ridden one regularly since my twenties, but there's a few byways round here to explore and I'm hoping the kids catch the bug. They love zooming round the garden on theirs but I've always been a bit anxious about them venturing onto the road. I'm just going to have to work out how to get all three of them out and about safely. Littlest is 4 but quite light, but even so she may be too heavy for me to manage in a kiddie seat on the back of mine. I'll have to see if I can borow one to try it out.
And dd2 is keen to try bellydancing with me. That could be a lot of fun! And we've been promising ourselves to join up at the local tiny gym at the village (use it or lose it) and see if they can tailor me some exercises and activities and stuff.

ok another go

ok so this was a view from the back , not bad , quite hate my pudgy shoulders but quite like my hair.
Ok this was the worse picture of the day, they we all are, off to have a lovely day out at Wistowheading around the maze at a steady pace with lovely weather, then we stopped for a breather and we took this pic, lovely family , with spare tyre mum sitting in the middle.

Ok so something has to give doesn't it, I can't hide anymore. But what to do? If I try dieting I think about food more and want to eat even more, because i can't then I want to.
going to try step by step - ok for the next week starting right now, I'm going to replace coffee and tea with lovely cold water - much less calories and maybe a start - the stop eating choc thing didn't get anywhere at all, in fact i'm eating more.
I can't believe how awful I look - it took a new camera, eugh how many inches? or rather tyres?

a bit slippy slidey, but trying hard

Well, I've been trying to stick to it as much as poss, but life's been a bit hard of late. However the boot camp + fruit and veg is slowly paying off, and there are some great sport activities running ove the summer so I'll see how the kids get on with those.
I've also promised myself a bike and another load of those hellishly expensive supplements. I'm sure you're not supposed to do one month religiously then make the next bottle last, well, as long as it lasts cos I kept forgetting to take them, then buy the next bottle a couple of monthes later, but hey, I'm doing what I can.
Picture me a la Miss Hubbard tinkling along the lanes round here, running down bunnies and reminding people about choir practice. Oh and frightening the bejeebers out of any unsuspecting walkers as I come up behind them and ring my bell at the last minute:-)

cravings for good stuff taking over from cravings for crap (as what's his name said it would).

Dawniy posted a youtube here of some American guy with a wacky name talking about the perils of sugar and such stuff ... very useful viewing. He said that when you stop eating crap your body begins to crave the things it really needs ... so here is what I discovered I crave when I don't eat crap:

mushrooms
broccoli
mackerel and oily fish
greens, greens, greens
salads
and more mushrooms!

Blog Rave about Wii Fit!

I've been having a great diet boost with Wii Fit. Somewhat more expensive even than Slimming world ... but is lots more fun! Also we can all use it and get fit and SW doesn't really promise get fit. I fought against it for ages. Jon tried to sell it to me as something to get me fit ... and I was very skeptical. It's FAB. I surprise myself that I haven't made a blog rave about it yet ... but maybe that is too much like consumerism and I'm horribly shy of that (hence the months of fighting against getting it in the first place!) I have really found that it has curtailed my evening snacking and when I feel need for 'compensation' from something sugary and junky, I seem to be gravitating to the Wii instead ... like 'play' is a well deserved reward for all my hard work during the day. (It is seriously rigorous exercise disguised as play and it's got me so fooled that I'm often in danger of overdoing it!) I must think to post about it on Loozing It at least! My DH will say "I told you so!"

(so, Liz ... I just pasted my comment to you in here! There, I posted it!)

obesity

I watched a prog last night about obesity. . . . . . it explained how a few extra calories here and there everyday add up to having a real obesity problem as we get older, well that's how I understood it anyway. While I was pregnant I'd actually gone off making bad food choices because choc and things fatty/creamy were making me feel sick. And now here I am , lost the baby , not pregnant, and very low. What do I do when I'm low ? Eat. I wonder why we do that because after I've eaten I feel even worse, but at the time all I can think about is the craving for choc . . . . . . for me it's harder than stopping smoking, I've successfully done the stop smoking thing. So how did I stop smoking? well as soon as I craved one I just held firm said no and crocheted to keep my hands busy and there weren't any fags in the house to smoke so . . . . . but it isn't the same with food is it? However I try to cut down there's always food in the house, I can't refuse to buy food, I can't be wilfull and refuse to eat. Now then maybe one thing I can do is use the refuse and stubborn thing on chocolate? it sounds do-able, no to chocolate instead of no to fags , maybe I can have success with doing this bit of not eating bad.

Ok so here we are, 7th of july , no more chocolate - sadly I'm feeling deprived already, I feel sad, miserable, been wanting choc ever since i miscarried and i guess I've had some everyday, I can't shop or get petrol without getting some. If Stef goes to the shop he asks "Do you want anything?" maybe I need to change my reply to yes a banana . . . . . at least that way i'd get the nibble without the fat?? Life without the choc hit?? I may aswell give it a try I'm depressed anyway lol woe is me . . . . . .

I have tried the only eat if it's good for me sort of thing but failed terribly . . . . .. . . .. .. . . ..ok try this then.

drat that skirt

Really, REALLY bad day today. I was going out to a picnic with the kids at a friend's house and decided to try something on that I had worn on a sunny day two years ago. I was shocked at how tight it was and suddenly my internal picture of myself just crumbled and I felt totally cr*p. As is usual in these situations everything spiralled until I was the worst person in the world and have been blighting my own and my children's lives. My 9 yr old ds and 6 yr old dd have both been getting a bit chunky, well a lot chunky in my dd's case, since we moved up here 2 years ago so naturally it's ALL MY FAULT. Of course. We used to live in a town and we'd always be out and about walking the dog, popping into town, cycling or scootering down the cycle path etc etc but that just hasn't been possible where we live now. Have I mentioned this before? I'm sure I have. Getting enough exercise here seems a lot harder. Any nice walks are a drive away, which makes them harder to fit into an already crammed full day. The sports centre is half an hour's drive away. The road into the village is pretty dangerous, and besides that walk gets pretty boring if it's all you've got. The dog has aged a lot in two years. he's twelve and a half and really feeling it, so no more yomping. But I must stop looking back at how easy it was then and try and find a way to make exercising a priority. I think cycling might be the way to go. It feels like it'd be so much easier to get myself fit, but I'm responsible for all the kids getting fit too. Tall order.

Well, anyway. I calmed down a bit and told myself that the skirt may have been tight, but I did actually get it on (then took it off in disgust and wore my jeans instead). And I have already lost some weight, I just need to lose a bit more.

I have the feeling that this place is about to become a mini boot camp. No sweets, lots more healthy eating etc etc. Any suggestions on how to persuade the kids to become more responsible about what they put into their bodies and how much they exercise would be gratefully received.

The good news and the bad news

Well, it's been ages since I posted last and I've achieved one of my goals. My marker for success was going to be whether I got into a certain pair of trousers. I managed that about a month ago. I was terribly nervous about trying them and then getting all depressed if they didn't fit, but they did.
The bad news is that I'm supposed to keep up the eating plan for 80% of the time. Yeah, right! I'm pretty bad at keeping to it, but I think the basics are there like not eating carbohydrate without protein, and I'm pretty sure I get my five a day most days, but I'm cheating so often. I've told myself it's ok to eat chocolate again. Well, it may be true that I don't come out in a rash straight away, but it still happens a day or so after. And certain days the sugar cravings are debilitating. One thing I have noticed is that if I eat anything with sugar in it in the evenings I get the odd numbness in my hand that used to worry me so much. Ok so now I know what to do, or rather what not to do, about it, but it is baffling.
I'm also pretty sure that my mood swings are partly down to not eating well enough, as well as environmental factors such as my relationship with a certain member of my family.
Well I know what to do, I just need to do it:-)

Here we go again

Hi Y'all
Back on the wagon again. Three whole days now. Bit depressing really because it's so hard to stick to it if I go out anywhere. Been having a lot of headaches too, wonder if it's caffeine withdrawal after all that easter chocolate. I did rather make up for lost time!LOL Oh well, slog on. The clocks going forward really affects the whole family quite badly. Littlest is now sleping through quite well, but I'm still waking up in the early hours and finding it difficult to get back to sleep. Although it's a possibele sign of depression I don't *think* I'm depressed, it's just a pattern I'm in and it'll take a while to overcome that. Last night our dog Merlin was very restless and had us up for a couple of hours, pacing and wanting to go out then come in then go out again. He's on heart tablets and one of the side effects is restlessness. I'm really looking forward to geting some decent sleep. We've told littlest that she's goign into her own bed when she's 4 in May, so we'll see how that goes.
Nothing else to report.

Cheat! Cheat! Big fat cheat!

Yep. I'll admit it. Look, it's been a tough week. (or more). My eating plan allows for one cheat day in the first month, 2 in the second and 1 a week in the third, but I've completely rewritten the rules. They now read 'If you're having a hard time cheat, cheat and cheat again'. Seems fair enough to me:-)
Had my hair cut last week to go out for a meal with DH. Really nice meal and my only cheat was the alcohol and the strawberries, meringue and cream. Then had a horrible 2 days. Hit the pits. So I thought 'what do women generally do when they feel this miserable? They eat chocolate that's what'. And having discoveed that I can eat chocolate without getting too much of a rash, and given that I'd just bought myself a Lindt bunny, i scoffed it. And I loved it.
Then I found out that I'd run out of my vitamin and amino acid supplements. Now, there's no point sticking to the diet if I can't do all of it is there? So normal service will be resumed when they arrive. Till then I've been quite surprised that even though I'm allowing myself to cheat I'm not bingeing, I'm just giving in to temptation a little bit. A mars bar here, a half a glass of beer there.
Oh well. When my supplements get here I'm going to give it the full 8 weeks and not cheat at all, unless it's an officially sanctioned cheat day. I may have to bend the rules again...

handling stuff too

Reading your post helps me feel that after all not all is lost. I keep falling off the wagon too, I don't think that i eat a lot, but as soon as \i try to eat less i end up wanting to eat more. I am sure there is a direct connection or link, trying to eat less equals wanting to eat more. Every time i try to eat less my poor body immediately tells me things like "You are so hungry Dawn, and you so need to dip 4 biscuits in your coffee. The craving is dire and urgent and physically demanding, I feel as if i will never be able to eat properly again and as a result I make sure I CAN eat.
It's true how ever hard I try that I find it really hard to say no to food and the more I say no the more I feel impelled to say 'yes' it feels physical and almost impossible to not say yes.
Then I have all these guilt hang ups about how I look and feel, and how annoyed my doc will be.
Because lack of food equals increased desire, I need to make it more 'do-able' so now I am concentrating on specific task, well 2 actually. The main things i eat that are fattening are chocolate and bread, also if I eat a lot of bread (ie couple of slices) I feel bloated and get heart burn, so I am going to cut both of these out completely. As I've said before I stopped smoking , I could say no fags, and I could refuse to have them at all. With food I can't say no food at all, so the boundaries and the desires get all muddled, and the "I'll just eat a bit" mentality sneaks in until i can't ignore it.
So now I can say NO and I have s strict criteria for the 'no', no chocolate, no bread. It sounds do able, it might make a difference, keep you posted.

Handling stress

Oops. I've been forgetting to post in purple. Been thinking about stress and how to handle it and still carry on being careful about what I eat. Whenever there's any kind of conflict, even if it's just black clouds on the horizon, or someone else not handling their emotions terribly well ( I'll leave you to guess the gender) I immediately feel that tight little knot and find myself fantasising about food. Or even succumbing.
So I am going to have to find different ways of dealing with stress, and as I can't just drop everything and sink into a hot bath it'll have to be something else. Probably something active involving the kids. And I'll have to take a leaf out of my own pet peeves book ( the one that gets annoyed when I suggest something and the person I've sugested it to comes up with reasons why it just can't be done - when I know it darned well can and needs to be!) and stop that annoying little voice in my head telling me negative things and why this won't be possible or that won't be practical, and by the way shouldn't you be doing x. y or z, I mean you *are* supposed to be educating those kid, you know! After all, who makes my schedule for me? Who is it who decides what I should be doing and how and when? Don't answer that!

Some positive stuff

I've noticed two positive things this week. The first thing is my big knickers: they fit better! They come up to my belly button where before they kind of slouched a couple of inches lower. It's a big thing for me. I daren't measure my waist and hips in case it's all an illusion and I haven't actually lost inches, but it FEELS like I have and that's good enough for me.
The other thing is that I find I'm not scuttling past the mirror, scared to look at myself. Even in my slobbiest everyday clothes I no longer feel flabby. I've been wondering whether the way I was eating before actually affected my brain and the way I perceived how I looked. I've heard it said that anorexics have a distorted view of their bodies and believe that they look fat even when they are little more than skeletons. Again even if I haven't lost weight, I feel as though I look better to myself and that'll do for me. Smiley, hopeful, positive Liz is a nice Liz to be around.:-)

Different blog

This looked worth a look:

http://alardoffmymind.wordpress.com/

I mean, we all need another blog to read don't we? ;-)

Crash, bang, thud!

That's the sound of me falling off the wagon. I didn't do it just to show solidarity, I really didn't see it coming. I'm allowed one cheat day in the first month, and I guess strictly speaking that probably means at the end of the first month. Now my first month isn't up till the middle of next week, but I'd been ill for a week for so and lost my appetite ( no excuse to go making up for it, I know) and part of the illness, just a bad cold and general bleugh feeling, seemed to be feeling very down and tearful. When I feel like that the old way of thinking crowds in on me and I feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. The housework piles up, making the feeling even worse because now I have a chaotic house and no energy to do anything about it and even less inclination because it's now such a major task that I can't see where to start. I decided to be nice to myself and bring my cheat day forward by a week or so. So I had a few pieces of the fudge that the girls had made and then had fish and chips (home made, there's no fish and chips shops for miles!) and figured that was it, hop back up on the wagon and head for the hills. But no. I had a fun evening planned the following night, a dance at the local village hall, and it was a 'bring a dish' supper. I didn't really know whether I'd cope with the restrictions of my diet as most if not all of the food would be off limits. I also didn't want to play the game of not eating anything and politely declining the food on offer. That just seemed so naff. So I cheated again. Properly. Not just a mouthful of this and a smackerel of that. I had exactly what I wanted, including the chocolate desserts, and made up my mind not to feel guilty about it. So that was nearly the end of it. The way I see it Mother's day is a day for mothers to do what they feel like doing. Given the fact that dh has also come down with the lurgy I couldn't have everything i wanted, as I was on duty looking after kids, animals and house, so I chose to treat myself to a box of choccies. Haven't done that for a couple of years, due to developing an allergy to chocolate, but I decided to put up with the resulting rash (actually, and this is very dangerous for me to admit to myself, I haven't come out in a rash...yet). I ate the whole box except for a couple that I shared, washed down with two cups of decaff coffee, also off limits. And I loved every self-indulgent minute of it.
I don't really know how or whether to justify all that to myself. It really was a horrible week. I had my first major wobble about having moved to a small, close knit, very rural community. I began to wonder whether we'd moved to the right place or not. I don't regret moving to the north east at all. It was absolutely the right thing to do, but the community we've moved to is kind of difficult. We moved two and a half years ago so I'm probably doing well not to have wobbled before now. Wherever we lived we'd probably feel like square pegs given our views and our lifestyle, but I feel soo alien to the prevailing attitudes round here, and there are some things I don't dare admit to the people I meet as I don't want my family or me to be ostracised. And it's very stressful to feel that you have to hide your true self so as not to upset other people or cause an argument. Also dh pointed out that we don't know anyone else in our home community who has small children. We know one woman who has two older children and that's about it. No wonder I feel a bit isolated and out on a limb. Well, I guess the next year or so will be a time to assess what we've gained by being here and what we've lost, and see how the balance sheet looks at the end of it all.
In the meantime, has anyone seen a wagon around here with a seat spare?

being frank

My doctor set off this melancoloy mood, a flippant remark , thrown at me , off the cuff with a laugh and a smile, dug low touching all those paranoid thoughts twitching in my head , why hadn;t I said this or said that? why hadn't I had a retort? why didn't I just tell her to stop?Well I guess I didn't tell her to stop because I have never told anyone to stop, not really asserted myself quietly , have only ever asserted myself by shouting or lost the plot totally in tears, tears that I don't want her to see , tears that if they start the might be years before they stop.What treat she asked , what treat have you had? "Just a bit of a treat at the weekend." she asks again , what treat she wants to know , I can't tell her without feeling pathetic "chocolate" , she turns to the pc, to look at the screen, doesn't look at me and throws the comment away in my direction "Oh come on you've got to mean it if you really want to lose weight . . . " her retort hangs pregnantly in the air , I think she wanted me to join in the banter. She carries on "you've got to take it seriously if you want to lose weight." this time she looks around with a frown on her face, I can't tell how frowny it is , I'm confused is she having a joke or is she really feeling stern , is it off the cuff and not meant , and if it isn't really meant does she really think that i'm not serious .. . . . . . . ? She laughs that superior laugh of somebody who has never had to doubt herself , a high IQ I guess she is used to the world making sense, to me I just feel baffled again like the bullies at school made me feel - how stupid for me to still hark on about it . . . . . . I told Liz I was beginning to surface from this episode , but paranoid scenarious run through my head , it's not very easy to divert them onto more positive stuff, I know all the things to do , but the truth is she's set me on another episode of anxiety /depression , one that I'll keep inside as I tell myself I must not give in and become bulemic again, purging is NOT and option. Focus , calm, imagine my self succeeding and I might . . . . . I've enough bloody hang ups without adding my weight to the list.

High juice squash

Well I never . . . . . tonight I've had a lovely fresh salad with homemade vinegarette on it. To drink I avoided the coffee and had high juice (Aldi summerfruits) it's my favourite taste in squash or pop , i have at times drunk LOADS of the stuff. Tonight I suddenly had an urge to read the label, 58% fruit juice, raspberry, apple, strawberry . . . . . . sounds good , sugar . . . .
ok read the little table of calories and what have you . . . . . per 250ml serving 110 calories eeek!
I guess it's not so bad? but when you think how much of it I can get through on a hot day (well i know it's cold atm) I've been trying to drink more , and I know I make it very diluted . . .. .. but that really adds up, and from the 58% of juice the main rest of it is sugar , I know Sally can educate me about sugar - maybe she'll do us a sugar post ??
It doesn't bode well for the children's teeth either does it.

The manner of my Dr keeps going through my head too, she's usually so nice , well she seems it, but this time she was so lacking in empathy when it cam to my weight going up rather than down. I'm back on the Xenical again today, had taken a break from it when we lost our Cassie, obviously eating chocolate when bad things happen isn't a good idea.
She really was just abrupt and well I won't go on I know things play on my mind so i'd better just deal with it. . . . . . . . . . . my tendencies from my youth of over eating and then purging are jangling in my head, I still fall into the over eating "Well I've eaten too much now , I might aswell eat even more . . . ." i've had one piece of choc I may aswell eat a whole large bar . . . . . . you see all the dots and trailing off thoughts . . . . . . depression and paranoia and everything else . . .. . .. . this fat fight and mental fight is no good for my head either . . . . . . . . I could be dead honest about it all , but i'm guessing you wouldn't want to read it.

dawny x

OK so that's a kick in the guts

So I've been avoiding fat and high calorie foods, had the odd treat at weekends, eaten lots of things I shouldn't this week because of losing our Cassie dog and I've been low.
Today I went to see the doctor, we talked, sorted some blood tests for cholesterol and stuff, we did my blood pressure, which is fine, and then the moment of truth. I got on the scales, i looked down and there it was - I have PUT WEIGHT ON,. yes put it on , not lost it , but put it on , more then a kilogram . . . . . so much for diet. So much for xenicol. I feel so fed up with myself . . . . . . I did feel thinner, I did think i'd lost some . . . . . blinkin heck.
BMI and weight have not gone down at all . . . . . . . any I had lost I must have put back on since losing Cassie. my stomach does feel less bloated and it does feel less fat . . . . . . .
So since then today I have had a HUGE flapjack, some chocolate and some brioche . . . and some biscuits . . . . . . . . start again tomorrow - feel really bad about it now .

Wagon? Ah yes, now I remember, there was a wagon!

I have to say "Wagon? Ah yes there was a wagon, I remember. Had better get back on it then!"
As an aside, I've been reading Jan Fortune-Wood's "Without Boundaries" ... about eliminating coercion (even the subtle stuff) from your parenting ... so I've begun to give Lani the reins regarding her sugar issues. The interesting effect it has had is that she has begun to feel really dubious about sugar in our diets and is working really hard on Jon and I to cut it out for the sake of our long term health. She may just get me back on the sugarless wagon!
I've been straying a bit with wheat too and need to get off it again and give it a month or two to get to see if there is any real impact for me when not eating it. It shouldn't be hard as I have spent lots of time wheat allergic anyway so it's not new ... and our dinners always have to be wheat free for Jon, anyway.

I have largely been taking my vits and mins ... so that is at least still on track.

The past week or so I've been overeating on occasion, past my comfort point. I've been clearing up after Lani who seems to have little or no appetite. I have also been eating out and choosing quite the wrong stuff. therein I seem to have been eating white rolls (which I can usually leave without any trouble) and pastry dishes ... not to mention curries. So, if I had lost anything I may well have put it back on in the last week! It is a jolly good thing I cannot touch chocolate because at least I can't always clear up everyone's puddings! Heh, why have we been having puddings? We don't usually bother with them! I think it is me and my sugar cravings. I keep finding myself bending rules to get myself a sugar fix. Thankfully, Lani is more in charge now and will put me off for the sake of avoiding heart disease! I think I have her so well convinced that crap food is as dangerous to your health and your kids health as smoking ... now I just have to remember that myself ... and keep in mind that it can only get to be more of a problem the longer I keep eating like that and slowly accumulating the pounds. If I'm lucky I may have another 40 years and I cannot continue gaining even 5lb a year without being in serious danger within 2 to 3 of those 40 years! I need to keep focused.

Get out of the takeaway/pub restaurant you lazy wench, and plan some dinners. Get the menu up and running again (need to write a new one I'm excited by), do the shopping and cooking during the part of the day when Miyuki is contented.

Obesity Virus

A leading Dr in America is convinced there is a virus making people obese, it started with chickens . . . . . . . . . . CLICK HERE to read about it.

Up and running

I'm right behind you and catching up!
Started my 'healthy eating plan' proper on Weds. Dh won't allow me to call it a diet, given all the research I've done on how diets are BAAAAAD news. So healthy eating it is then.
I'm basing it on the Marilyn Glenville book 'Fat around the middle' and it's about so much more than just losing weight, although that is a nice side effect. If, like me, your body doesn't handle stress well, ie piles every ounce it can as close to your liver as possible round your middle, then the plan could work for you too. (Now who's sounding evangelical, Sally!) It's about supporting your body and your mind and helping you to deal with stress a lot better.
The plan goes something like this:
First month:
No alcohol
No wheat
No sugar except naturally occurring eg fruit
No potatoes
As little dairy as possible
Eat at least every 3 hours
No carbohydrate with evening meal
Don't eat fruit after evening meal
No caffeine, no fruit tea, no decaff coffee (I'm on rooibos and herbal tea)

After the first month you can let go a little and have a little alcohol now and then, a bit more dairy and generally relax a bit about carbs and fruit.

In the first month you're allowed one cheat day, then two in the second month then I think it's one a week after that. The rule of thumb is stick to the plan for 80% of the time.

I've been going 3 days now (wow!) and don't have any cravings at all. I do get a bit peckish but I can usually find something to satisfy it or at least calm it down.

Will post more later

supersize vs superskinny

Tonight Amy Jo and Andy swapped diets, Andy was such a nice guy but my word did he eat a lot. Anyway the things he ate were all things that were my downfalls too. I said to Stef that they ought to show the diet plans they make up for them to take home and improve themselves for 3 months. I went online and they do give the diet plans . This is Andy's diet plan, in three months he lost more than 3 stone. The changes he made to his diet are changes we have made too, but it helps a lot to see it written down , so here it is , and at the bottom is the link to the site if you'd like to look at more.

Andy's eating plan from Ch4

Goals

• Change cooking methods
  
• Cut out crisps – choose low fat alternatives eg rice cakes, low fat crisps etc
  Shopping list
  
• Start the day with breakfast
  
• Take a suitable lunch and snacks to work
  
• Replace coffee with tea
  
• Plan evening meals – eat with the children

How to make it happen

• Cutting down/out the crisps
  
• Reducing the milk in coffees
  
• Reducing the take aways
  
• Cutting down on the high fat snacks eg biscuits, pastries
  

these were the main changes he made and he kept it up for 3 months losing 3 stone. He looked so thrilled.

His full menu and plan is available here on the ch4 website

I'm going to try to keep to his diet as much as i can because I know it's balanced and it'll make me eat enough. I tend to eat not enough and then i give in and binge - well at least i know my tendencies - I've binged ever since i was about 12.

Hmmm.... greens (like Homer's love of doughnuts)

Well, my scales seem to be broken. That's a good thing! Now I cannot weigh myself then I cannot think about it in terms of lb and kg ... and will go by better things like what fits and how I feel.

I've been pretty balanced. I reckon that old chap (Urgelt?) that Dawny posted about was right about getting rid of the crap that produces cravings and then tapping into the true cravings your body sends you as messages. Mine are for mackerel and broccoli. I've also got a passion for cavello nero (a sort of long dark green kale of sorts). It is lovely stir fried with mushrooms. I went out for tea yesterday. For the first time ever I wanted the fish dish over the lamb or out and out crap. I really wanted oily fish (it was Silver Bream) but the mushrooms it promised swayed me. (actually, the chips did a bit of a devil thing on me too, but when I was done I felt like the only thing I'd not enjoyed was the chips.)

By the way ... mushrooms are a super food in terms of vitamins and minerals. The other thing I've been amazed by is brazil nuts. A friend bought me "Grow Your Own Pharmacy" for xmas year before last and I've got around to reading it. It is a book well worth having for the quick at-a-glance charts that show you which foods to eat to get which minerals and vitamins. ... it's got recipes too, and gardening tips and lots on herbs.

My dh asked if I've lost weight, so maybe I have. My skirt seems a bit looser.

I don't feel particularly energised or anything ... but I probably need to get a bit more exercise and stop fobbing myself off with 'well ... I'm on my feet all day!' (she says sitting on the computer) and you know, Dawny, that I've been on here a lot today because I'm quick to answer your emails.... hang on a moment! so have you been! Get off your butt! LOL! We just have no time left to ourselves when we home ed do we? LOL! Byron Katie has so demystified me about believing my own crap that I'm almost ready to acknowledge that my irritation with what Becs doesn't get done, chores wise, is more a reflection of my dissatisfaction with what I don't get done ... with the big fat excuse that it's so much hard work home educating! Yeah, pah! It also means I have to get off my dh's case with the shit about having been run off my feet all day. Who believes that? And I may have to be humble enough to fess-up.. The up side, however, is that I now believe I've got all the time in the world and if I wanted to sew I'd be doing it, and if I wanted to have time to myself, I'd make it happen. Sounds too simple? Try it! (Oh, and I have to have a session with myself to get over my mum's comments about me evangelising about all the 'good news' I discover (homoeopathy, CBT, Byron Katie, Nourishing Traditions, etc, etc, etc)! I sure do! Hang on a moment. Where did I get that trait from!?!?!?!?!?

Anyway, pretty up beat.

Countdown to the new me!

Hi All

I've mastered the colours so I'm nabbing purple! This week has been like one long condemned woman's breakfast. I've been saying goodbye to all those foods that I won't be able to eat for the next three months and probably longer.

I've read Marilyn Granville's book 'Fat round the middle' and was so struck by it ( she describes my symptoms exactly - very scary) that I've decided to take the plunge and change my eating habits, possibly for good, my exercise habits and start taking some useful supplements. It means cutting out sugar completely for at least the first month, cutting out wheat (which I already do) and learning a new way of eating.

I do have a few misgivings, such as being able to buy enough fresh fruit and veg, not easy in a small village, and possibly feeling a bit weird as my diet is going to be so different from a 'normal' person's. I'm also worried about how much the supplements and some of the food is going to cost, as a lot of it you can't get at a supermarket.

Having said that, I am going to give it my best shot. If it helps to ge me where I want to go then it has to be worthwhile. I'll write up a more detailed plan when I've got the energy ( I've had three poorly kids and not enough sleep recently) to remind myself of what I need to do.

In the meantime I'm saying goodbye to potatoes, ice-cream, alcohol, sugary food and everything else that I have to let go of. It's a bit of a lingering goodbye, like the one on Brief Encounter, and I'm going to miss them all. I hope the promised banishment of cravings, increase in energy and weight loss materialise. And SOON!

Liz

how it's been going here.

hi folks. one handed typing, so no capitals!

Well, generally I've been eating lots of healthy stuff ... but as soon as I'm near the crap i'm often eating it as well.

Saturday was a particularly poor day as I forgot to eat before we left for a long trip to a birthday party! Hmmm.... you know what is coming. Then the only thing I could get to eat (maybe?) was a pasty on route (hmmm, that doesn't seem so true does it?) Then I cleaned up the crap my kids were eating. Then I strayed onto the chocolate (which thankfully Miyuki didn't seem to react to) ... so now I can eat chocolate and you can bet I want to.
Lani has been struggling with sugar, so I pulled the kids off it, which left me with two pieces of chocolate cake. Did I bin them? No! I don't even really like chocolate cake!
Anyway, it's gone now and since the kids are sugar free again, it helps me to stay off it. When I stay off it long enough I don't want it any more.
Let's live in hope.

Don't think I've really lost any weight yet ... maybe 2 lb. But I need to get the stuff in place for the long stretch before I see any major change, I think.

bang crash

bang crash wallop
I fell off my diet in a big way today - I didn't have time for breakfast eek bad thing to do. Let the girls go to the shop , they bought me minstrels and I didn't manage to say no, I said no for a while and then I asked to be given them and before I hardly knew it at all I'd eaten the whole packet. . . . . . . . then we did the food shopping and i bought biscuits, i let Lana choose them and hide them at home. . . . . . . . . .after alovely big salad for my tea I had coffee, nothing but balsamic vinegar on my salad , 2 slices of chicken, low fat cottage cheese, cabbage and carrot, tomato, cucumber . . . . . . . followed by coffee, coffee and 2 choc biscuits, and then 2 more choc biscuits . . . . .. . . i feel sick now and really angry at myself.
OK I was doing so well, so why did i do that , if there isn't any stuff in the house I can do it, but as soon as there is a choice of healthy or sugar/choc , I always make the wrong choice. aaagggghhhh chunter chunter.

Urgelt

I've found this chat on you tube , what he has to say is very interesting ,
take a look at these two vids

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=U48s_UJ0gio

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jgiyVeRgzmI&feature=related

he has loads of clips on you tube and I can really relate to what he is saying.

tuesday

today it seems easier to eat food that is doing me good, or I think it's doing me good. Porridge with a teaspoon of golden syrup, the porridge made with water, because they're good oats it's a lovely texture and I can't believe how much I'm enjoying it. Dinner was carrot and parsnip soup (yummy do you want the recipe?) with a slice of wholemeal bread.
supper was a biscuit and a pink lady apple.
A few coffees with skimmed milk and just one sugar.
I don't know if what I am eating is good or not, but it's just what I fancy.
Yesterday it was salad with pilchards.
Balsamic dressing is the magic thing in making things taste good but with no fat :o)
I managed again to avoid chocolate - I really am amazed at myself, it's harder to stop chocolate than it was for me to stop smoking.
I made scones for the children and I didn't have any.
watched 'supersize, superskinny me' on channel 4. The girl on there was only 6 and a half stone, she ate microamounts - I can't imagine eating so little.

My friend helps run weight watchers, it seems good , has anyone tried it? I can't afford the fee for going, I need my money for other things. Life on a tight budget is demanding as it is, trying to eat low fat, low sugar things on a low budget is a real challenge.

Are there any recipies that do healthy and cheap , that's my next task then.

Hiya Sal,
nice to read your post :o)

The author says little and often, of complex carbs (wholemeal and brown rice, etc) ... to keep your blood sugar level and stop cravings and to encourage a faster metabolism, better transit of food, etc.

yes totally I have to do that cos I dip and dive about emotions wise if I don't eat enough complex carbs - which today I didn't and I had a real freak out at Stef, by the time we had done the food shopping my calories were so low I felt faint, and a hungry dawny is not a nice person to know.
I've done well with eating the right things, but then I didn't eat enough because we'd used most fresh stuff up and I ended u diving into a hobnob packet. So now I'm really angry at myself for eating hobnobs; I'm also worried about the effect it's going to have on me because of the orlistat. I find that up to now the Orlistat has been a real help, It's unerving having fat passing straight through, but i've not had any poorly tummies or anything. Any fat content I eat comes out just like olive oil. Yes really.
I must say I am enjoying eating a lot of fresh salad stuff, but I don't enjoy winter grown tomatoes much , they just aren't as good as they are in the summer. I'm using my master-chef for grating carrots - I could eat them until they came out of my ears.
It's nice having you to do it with :o)

Allergies and weight gain/loss

I have also had to give up choc for breastfeeding/screaming reasons (like Ann).
I'm allergic to wheat in pregnancy and actually struggle to gain weight! Since I've been back eating it, I'm piling it on! So, I'm trying to keep wheat low in my diet.
My dh just lost 8lb in a few weeks of having to cut dairy. He has coeliac's (sp?) so is always wheat free. It means he went for a lot of dairy for fast/accessible stuff for lunch. I had no idea how much he ate. Now he is off because it may be raising his blood pressure.
Being wheat and dairy free is incredible, because most crap food has both.

Dawny says about eating more to raise metabolism ... I've just been reading that in the book Liz posted about (here). The author says little and often, of complex carbs (wholemeal and brown rice, etc) ... to keep your blood sugar level and stop cravings and to encourage a faster metabolism, better transit of food, etc. She also says it's important to eat foods that have not been stripped of vitamins and minerals otherwise your body has to provide them from it's stores for breaking the food down. I'd not thought of vitamins and minerals in this role before. In actual fact, I know little of their role in my body.
I find I lose weight well when I take a supplement (our soil is badly depleted from farming and even organic veg do not give the vits and minerals you'd have once expected to get from them). I like a supplement with chromium as that is found to be essential for fat metabolism.

Exercise also raises metabolism, so park some distance from the store, rather than right next to the door in the sought after, lazy spots! Run up stairs to get stuff for the kids when they want you too! I have a tendency to avoid these things, but they are natural ways to increase exercise in everyday home ed life.

UPDATE:

• I've not been doing too badly.
• I've generally avoided sugary things.
• I've also been keeping wheat to a minimum and my dairy intake is a bit lower due to having to cook dairy free meals for the family (we usually cook wheat free anyway).
• I need to stop skipping breakfast by lolling about.
• I'm targeting eating little and often, rather than little and seldom (interspersed with rubbish).
• I'm also managing to get my fluids up by filtering the water (I like it better at room temp and it tastes better.) I've taken to lining up three different drinks at a time.

right, I'm off to do some more making and doing. We've been making slime this morning! It makes great rubber bouncy balls. Anyone want the recipe? I'm going to blog it on my blog.

birthday - no diet

Oh dear , well i planned a day out for Lana's birthday, once slipped though the diet has stayed slipped for 2 days now , chocolate, crisps, cheesecake, cakes, biscuits, all that I could eat i did eat. So sidetracked was I, funnily enough the cake tasted fatty though and some things tasted too sweet. tomorrow is a new day and i must get back on it.
Isn't it right that eating boosts the metabolism? well if it is maybe that's what it'll do , my resolve is still as strong as ever, I must lose weight.

Ideas for fast and healthy breakfasts...

Fish is great, especially the oily varieties. Excellent on vits, mins, healthy oils, for helping with depression, and healthy heart, etc. Tinned mackerel fillets in spring water are ideal for snacking, and sit on the shelf all the time just nicely!
You can add smoked mackerel fillets to quark (a fat free cheese) and make a mackerel pate which is delicious on high fibre ryvita.

I eat sesame ryvita broken up in milk with raisins for breakfast (too often probably, as it is good to vary what you eat).

Another great breakfast is fat free fromage frais with fresh mango! You can also drop some oats in there, or top it with some crunchy oat cereal instead.

If you want to make your own crunchy oat cereal ... soak oats and cinnamon (for example) in a bit of fruit juice then roast it slowly on a low heat, turning it periodically until it dries out. Then add dried fruits and some nuts (maybe, as they are quite high in fat but excellent in minerals, etc~). You can be sure there is no added rubbish and you can sprinkle it on top of yoghurt or fromage frais, and even use it as a crumble topping on stewed fruit. It can help you to avoid all those prefab cereals that are really bad for you because of the processing.

Eggs are always great for breakfast, but time is sometimes and issue: you can make a quiche with bacon as a base instead of pastry. Aldi sell some continental hams that have no fat to trim and are ideal for lining your dish. Then combine two eggs with a little milk, s & p, herbs (like thyme or basil) and a pot of quark (very low fat cheese) and pour into the dish. A small amount of mustard in with the eggs makes the cheese cheesier! Add some chopped ham, a little cheese, onion rings, etc .... and bake about 180 degrees for about 30 mins until set. You may want to foil the top or drop the heat if the oven runs a bit hot.
Quiche eaten cold is delicious for breakfast, lunch when you are out, snacking even (put it in front of the biscuit tin!)
Tortilla omelette is another standby that can be kept in the fridge for an alternative breakfast. Also, use 'sprylight' to saute a few par boiled potato slices and have quiche with salad. Go out of your way to buy interesting salad ingredients, and think of a nicoise (eggs, olives, anchovies, etc!) ..... but maybe not for breakfast !!!

The story so far

I watched the Jamie Oliver thing last night and it gave me quite a boost.

I've also ordered a new copy of Nourishing Traditions (Sally Fallon and Mary Enig) so that I can refresh my memory about why sugar and refined stuff is really bad for you. They have it all spelled out well enough to convince me, I just lent the book out and I can't remember who to!

Meanwhile, I think in balance I'm probably getting on ok. Baby steps!
I took to lining up three drinks at a time (not alcoholic ones ) ... and that is progress enough for me, as I find it difficult to remember to drink at all. That is a real problem with I'm breastfeeding. Miyuki has to work hard to get the amount of milk she needs. When I remember to drink, consequently I have a huge amount of milk suddenly, spraying everywhere! Just goes to show how short my body is on fluids.

Meanwhile, I'm making sure we walk everywhere and not being so shy of the flights of stairs I usually avoid indoors!

That's three things isn't it?

I need to write down what I eat as I think I'm probably skipping meals quite often and then eating the wrong stuff in between. Difficult to know until I see it in black & white.

Hard day today

today has been a hard day, I've been craving sugar and wanting to eat rubbish carbs. I'm pleased I haven't givenin too much. I did succomb to having some gourmet jelly beans and Lana did give me two squares of chocolate, I felt really bad after I had eaten them.

Today I had Breakfast : porridge made with water and half a spoon of golden syrup
dinner : carrot and parsnip soup - home made ooh it was yummy.
supper : carrot, cabbage , celery salad with a slice of hame and a bit of salad cream - I know , I know I didn't need the salad cream - my period started yesterday and I normally passify myself with chocolate , so a bit of salad cream is better than a bag of mistrels and a twirl.
3 cups of coffee, some squash.

I already feel less fat, I don't feel slimmer, I just feel less fat, it's been really hard sticking to it today.

tip for the day - day 3

I made porridge with half porridge oats , half tesco muesli , made with water and a sprinkle of salt with 3 chopped up dried apricots - oooh it was yummy :o)

dinner : shredded cabbage, grated carrot, tomato , cucumber and some savoury rice with 2 salad little new potatoes - I find if i have some rice /potatoes it stops me cheating later in the day.

handful of dried apricots and a couple of cashew nuts (not salted or roasted ).

a kiwi fruit

Only 2 cups of coffee - YAY pat myself on the back , I normally have about a dozen cups, all with sugar and milk.

does anyone out there know anything about nutrition , how am i doing ?
I am finding myself less hungry than i expected, not sure if it's the orlistat. I haven't had any of the bowel probs with it either.

I'm not sure how i'm doing for calorie intake, I haven't a clue if i'm losing weight , but i am losing tummy. I feel less tired. I feel really good that as yet i haven't cheated.

Easing myself into it

Hi
Thanks for inviting me to contribute. I had one of those moments after new year when I knew that I couldn't put it off any longer and that I had to do something. I have a real horror of dieting because of past issues so I'm telling myself it's all about getting healthy and hopefully losing a bit of weight along the way. My main problem is that I have a thyroid imbalance which means that my body effectively sabotages any attempt to reduce calories by slowing my metabolic rate even more, so I'm going to have to find a way to trick it into letting go of some of the ballast. I don't feel that i've properly started on my journey yet though I am taking a few tentative first steps like trying to include some form of exercise for the whole family into our everyday routine and not buying 'rubbish' food. I'm watching what I eat and drink in the evenings, as it has become a reward system for me. I'm reading a really good book instead and for the last 2 evenings I've only had half a muller rice and last night had no alcohol at all. I've got a couple of books on order at the library:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Alternatives-Dieting-Diets-Dont/dp/1856263177/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200396581&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fat-Around-Middle-Lose-Bulge/dp/1856266559/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200396628&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Natural-Alternatives-Marilyn-Glenville/dp/1856264610/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200396628&sr=1-3

And I'm also going to check out Sally's book suggestion.

I read the natural alternatives to dieting a long time ago and it made a lot of sense.

I won't be weighing myself, but I do have a goal; a pair of black jeans that I want to get into . I also want to work up to going on bike rides either on my own or with my son and daughter. I'm also searching out a Pilates class, as my main problem areas are round my middle and I need to get my back and tummy muscles working better. This blog entry can be my reminder to myself of what I want to do to support my physical and mental health for the years to come. And having the support and companionship of others who are on similar journeys will be great.

Comfort Eating

I've been managing to get some quiet time, of sorts and the late night comfort eating urges that begin when the kids are finally asleep have been much better.
I only realised they had stopped thus:
The only one still awake was Miyuki, who had just woken as the others had begun to sleep (maybe my comfort eating urges were not there because they weren't all in bed LOL!). Jon then said to me "Right, I need to go and do some work." (which means I'm still on duty) and instantly, at that very moment, I GOT A HUGE URGE TO GO TO THE CUPBOARD AND FIND SOMETHING TO COMPENSATE ME FOR SOMETHING!

I'm thinking this morning that I need to tie my cognitive behaviour therapy into this one and try to overcome it by overcoming the automatic thoughts that keep confirming my sense of deprivation or something. Not responding to the urges also helps wean me off so that I don't have them so much.
Getting off sugar makes a huge difference.

I'm not eating particularly well as we had Becs' family birthday dinner out yesterday. However I avoided pudding again (three times in a row!)

Going well - for now

I'm pleased with how not hungry I am , and strangely I haven't been craving anything today.

Breakfast: porridge made with water and a sprinkle of salt, with half a spoonful of golden syrup.
Dinner : and lots of it. White cabbage, grated carrot, pickled cabbage, pickled beetroot( last two are some of my very favourite food), sweetcorn (a bit out of a tin.), newmans light balsamic dressing, cucumber, tomato, tuna, 2 salad potatoes(only 39p a bag at Aldi at the mo.)
drinks : diet ginger beer, 3 coffees, squash.
supper : a cup of hot chocolate so good. (the nearest to chocolate I intend to get)

I'm not craving anything today, actually really enjoying the fact that my tummy isn't bloated/distended. I even watched the others eating steak pie without feeling jealous. I'm determined. Saw Sarah Green on dancing on ice and was determined to be more healthy for this year - she is 4 years older than me. I couldn't skate if i tried.

M&S food advert

Wow here am I'm sitting here with lana and we've just seen a M&S advert for their chocolate bread and butter pudding, ooooh melying chocolate and my favourite pudding. If or when I reach my target BMI then I'll go and treat myself to one of those ooooh yum.
so am i hungry - yes , have i a pounding head - yes, my body is craving sugar and choc - I don;t m=need - i can' even type lol. I can't think straight , I need the choc - sad isn;t it , a grown woman can't hack lack of sugar and crap.
what have I eaten today?
I've had one coffee, a salad with white cabbage and tuna and Paul Newmans light Balsamic dressing (only a bit), and apple, a fruit smoothie, half a slice of wholemeal bread with lime marmalade and no butter.
In a bit I'm going to have some porridge made with water with a pinch of salt and then half a tsp of golden syrup on the top - as sinful as i'm going to get.

we've taken up looking for yummy clips on you tube as a laugh , dreaming of choc pudding lol

Sally's Plan

I am right there with you, you are encouraging me. I've had to cold turkey sugar since xmas as it may be causing my mood swings and definitely is making me feel crap. terrible sugar cravings. my body doesn't do well with sugar!

Dieting is ok when pregnant and breastfeeding as long as you are not keeping fat too low and eating enough of the right stuff. I did Slimming World and it is recommended by doctors and midwives during pregnancy and breastfeeding because you eat lots, but lots of good stuff. I found it was incredible for getting you eating veg and fruit and the support is great, but I find the fat is still too low and I suffer from depression on a low fat diet, and I worry about vitamin and mineral deficiency as many are fat soluble ...

So, my plan is:
I'm going to give myself one bit of crap to eat a week, and otherwise eat really healthy wholemeal stuff, lots of fruit and veg (of the less starchy variety), limit my dairy but keep it full fat, and watch out for too much starchy stuff. Lots of nice oily fish too. Keep my vits and minerals up (excellent for weight loss) and drink lots more fluids (also excellent for weight loss). Cutting out sugar altogether too is the way for me ... and avoiding wheat as much as possible.
I found it all works best if everyone at home is on the same sort of eating plan and you just don't buy the crap. Let's be honest ... our kids are going to have the same problems we are having if we train them to eat crap! I'm trying to keep their palates liking good food ... and I think that feeding them toward heart disease is not far off teaching them to smoke really ... and I WOULDN'T do that!

It just takes a whole lot of concentration and self discipline to keep to it for the length of time it takes to slowly lose the weight and keep it off. It's really a life change you are looking at. I find the book 'Nourishing Traditions' (be very careful ... it could put you off the idea of low fat = weight loss!!!) really useful for convincing me to keep off sugar and processed foods! I've lent my copy out and cannot remember who to! Must get it back to get me back on track!

today: so, today I had a mother daughter date with Mialani ... at pizza express! Not such a great start? However, I will certainly try to make that my junk moment for the week. I also made Staffordshire Oatcakes when I got home ... but I didn't eat them, much! I'm going to try to make them with oats only ... so very wholemeal, so they are good for the kids. Then I'm going to largely steer clear of them!

ps: would it be a good idea if we all have a colour that we usually post in, then we'd know straight away who we are reading???? I'm happy to take green.
x

accepting that I can't put it off any longer

yesterday I plucked up the courage to go and talk to my doctor. Prior to now I've mentioned my weight to my psychiatrist who has said it's normal to put weight on with my meds. The more I've convinced myself that I still have the ability to eat a chocolate bar Aand not put any weight on, like when I was younger, the more i've put the weight on. The times I've thought 'Well I'll eat what I want now because it's my birthday, or my sister's birthday, or christmas or easter . . . . . . there's always the exception that I can fool myself with, "When this day is over I'll stop." must have been in my head so many times, I always manage to concoct an excuse. Now I have to stop, I hate not being able to eat what I want, but i'm now just over the 'obese' category and into the 'clinically obese' time to wake up. I cried on the scales, no wonder I find it hard to keep up with the children.
My doctor has put me onto orlistat, it will make my stomach so that it doesn;t want to absorb fat, instead it will come out of my bowel as the same fat it went in as. Very good motivation to not cheat, eat right or get the shits.
Weight thursday 96kg, BMI 36, weight to lose . lots.
today (Friaday) eaten :

salad with some little new potatoes, balsamic vinegar sprinkle instead of anything oily.
Jelly and pineapple.

bowl (rather a large one) of porridge with a tea spoon of golden syrup , no milk , made with water and a pinch of salt - i love it and it filled my tummy for my danger time which is mid evening.

2 coffees and some apple squash

I'm not hungry and no reaction to the orlistat yet.

rather pleased with myself , not a bad day.